After waiting for the perfect situation and mindset for a baby to be our lives we were blessed with two pink lines! Yes!! I am pregnant! Telling immediate family members was not a problem on my side as my MIL is my buddy. Told her the very next day and she was ecstatic!! She informed the rest of the people and saved me from any embarrassments of telling.. Why was I embarrassed?? Well, maybe we took a lot more time than usual couples in our society to finally decide on becoming parents, or maybe I really didn't know how to tell!!
Telling others was a big question for me. In a lot of Asian countries there is a tradition of not telling others about the pregnancy till your first trimester is over. Maybe due to the fact that it is the most crucial period in the pregnancy and most of the miscarriages are common in this period, so people fear of unwanted sympathy or happiness which is short-lived. But to be honest should you actually tell everyone after your initial 3 months are over safely?? Does sharing happiness with everyone really is that important??
In my case, I chose to keep mum. I felt telling someone that you are pregnant is your choice and comfort. Though telling won't affect you that much physically, but it was always a big deal to me mentally. People start looking at you differently. They take extra notice and caution around you and being a do-it-yourself kind of person all my life, I feel quite irritated sometimes. Others who like being pampered and the extra attention might love to tell. So there are actually two kinds of people:
*One who would actually be on phone telling everyone on earth about the news even before your pregnancy stick has dried.
*One who can be a bit extreme and keep mum till their stretching belly does the talking for them! (I am one of those)
There are advantages & disadvantages to both sides of the coin and you should understand your priority in both cases.
Advantages of telling Early:
*Lots of support early in pregnancy
*Earlier offers of physical help
*More advice from others about practitioners
*Help with early decisions
*If you miscarry, you will have support from everyone.
*& ofcourse, you can share your happiness
Disadvantages of telling early:
*Too much advice
*News travels faster, so might not be the first one to tell everyone.
*If you miscarry, the whole world knows you were pregnant
Advantages of waiting before you tell:
*Time to digest the news
*Make your own decisions without anyone interfering
*If you miscarry, your sorrow is yours alone and you don't have to retract the pregnancy news.(it can be really ugly otherwise, making you more sorrowful)
Disadvantages of waiting before you tell:
*No help/support from others
*If you miscarry, people often wonder why you are sad and the explanation can be quite difficult.
So the formula is to tell the right amount of people who you think really matter. Forget about hurting people's feelings by not telling. People who genuinely care about you will be equally happy even when you tell them at 5months or more. Now the question is whom should you tell??
*Immediately family members- cause they are the ones you would be living or interacting with the most during the whole time and after that. Plus they know in and out about you and the family and can warm or give advice without overwhelming you.
*Your closest friends- cause even if they are not pregnant they might be the person whom you talk to all the time and would be difficult for you not to share your happiness. They would be genuinely happy and might sometimes help when family is not available for that extra errand you need to do.
*Your closest colleague- Ofcourse you don't want to tell the whole office but you can tell the closest person you have in the office so that there is a person who understands if you need anything. Or simply covering for you when needed. You spend a lot of time in office and you might do some physical work too which also can get relieved with some extra help. But be sure that he/she doesn't leak the news as it can travel faster and reach your other, maybe even your boss even before you are prepared. This might be problem for some offices where pregnancy doesn't have so much liberties and can pose as a problem.
Rest of the family, friends and whole lot of people can actually wait till a minimum of 4 months because they actually cant provide you with anything useful in your pregnancy. And happy news will still be happy news afterwards. And ofcourse telling is always your personal choice and you can choose whenever you want to share the happy news!! Happy Preggers!! :)
Telling others was a big question for me. In a lot of Asian countries there is a tradition of not telling others about the pregnancy till your first trimester is over. Maybe due to the fact that it is the most crucial period in the pregnancy and most of the miscarriages are common in this period, so people fear of unwanted sympathy or happiness which is short-lived. But to be honest should you actually tell everyone after your initial 3 months are over safely?? Does sharing happiness with everyone really is that important??
In my case, I chose to keep mum. I felt telling someone that you are pregnant is your choice and comfort. Though telling won't affect you that much physically, but it was always a big deal to me mentally. People start looking at you differently. They take extra notice and caution around you and being a do-it-yourself kind of person all my life, I feel quite irritated sometimes. Others who like being pampered and the extra attention might love to tell. So there are actually two kinds of people:
*One who would actually be on phone telling everyone on earth about the news even before your pregnancy stick has dried.
*One who can be a bit extreme and keep mum till their stretching belly does the talking for them! (I am one of those)
There are advantages & disadvantages to both sides of the coin and you should understand your priority in both cases.
Advantages of telling Early:
*Lots of support early in pregnancy
*Earlier offers of physical help
*More advice from others about practitioners
*Help with early decisions
*If you miscarry, you will have support from everyone.
*& ofcourse, you can share your happiness
Disadvantages of telling early:
*Too much advice
*News travels faster, so might not be the first one to tell everyone.
*If you miscarry, the whole world knows you were pregnant
Advantages of waiting before you tell:
*Time to digest the news
*Make your own decisions without anyone interfering
*If you miscarry, your sorrow is yours alone and you don't have to retract the pregnancy news.(it can be really ugly otherwise, making you more sorrowful)
Disadvantages of waiting before you tell:
*No help/support from others
*If you miscarry, people often wonder why you are sad and the explanation can be quite difficult.
So the formula is to tell the right amount of people who you think really matter. Forget about hurting people's feelings by not telling. People who genuinely care about you will be equally happy even when you tell them at 5months or more. Now the question is whom should you tell??
*Immediately family members- cause they are the ones you would be living or interacting with the most during the whole time and after that. Plus they know in and out about you and the family and can warm or give advice without overwhelming you.
*Your closest friends- cause even if they are not pregnant they might be the person whom you talk to all the time and would be difficult for you not to share your happiness. They would be genuinely happy and might sometimes help when family is not available for that extra errand you need to do.
*Your closest colleague- Ofcourse you don't want to tell the whole office but you can tell the closest person you have in the office so that there is a person who understands if you need anything. Or simply covering for you when needed. You spend a lot of time in office and you might do some physical work too which also can get relieved with some extra help. But be sure that he/she doesn't leak the news as it can travel faster and reach your other, maybe even your boss even before you are prepared. This might be problem for some offices where pregnancy doesn't have so much liberties and can pose as a problem.
Rest of the family, friends and whole lot of people can actually wait till a minimum of 4 months because they actually cant provide you with anything useful in your pregnancy. And happy news will still be happy news afterwards. And ofcourse telling is always your personal choice and you can choose whenever you want to share the happy news!! Happy Preggers!! :)
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